my demise. I wandered the streets of New York (as defeated villains often do), and paused in front of a book store with a display of hardcover self-help books in the window, titled How to Take Charge of Your Life. I scoffed at its mundane human ridiculousness. I was an autonomous creature, of course I was in charge of my life. Do humans often feel that way? That someone else is in charge of them?
That was my lightbulb moment.
I could take charge of their lives. Those humans with their 9-to-5 workdays and bloodshot, drooping eyes, all while guzzling americanos as they crawled out of the pits of subway stations--they needed someone to rule them.
I wasn't an idiot. I knew a book titled Let Loki Rule All of You Pathetic Creatures, would hardly hit the bestsellers list (humans are very suspicious of books such as those). I would need to disguise it. I would need to plant the idea into their heads, and to do that, I needed to write something people enjoyed to read. A novel.
More so, I would write a young adult novel. The young are the easiest to manipulate, are they not? It wouldn't be long before I had complete and utter world domination, because, I was sure, book publishing moved quite quickly.
So I wrote Growing Pains and World Domination (the title sounds quite catchy). And I did enough research to know that the next step was to submit to these agent people, only, none of them seemed thrilled with the idea of a book about a boy realizing that he was an idiot and needed someone to guide him in what to do (apparently teenagers want... empowerment?). In a fit of rage, I burned down the first bookstore I came across, which in turn burnt down a pizzeria, three apartments, and a comic book shop.
It wasn’t long before they came. The Avengers.
THOR: My foolish adopted brother needed to be stopped. My fellow Avengers and I arrived at the burning comic shop ready to capture him and secure him so he couldn't burn anything else. We kicked our way through the rubble, checking to see where he'd gone.
Captain America and Iron Man were helping a few injured humans out of the building when I saw him. Poor, petty Loki sat crying in the middle of the rubble, using a blackened comic book for a handkerchief.
And I was…confused, beyond doubt.
"Loki, what is the meaning of this?" I said.
He stopped crying and looked up at me, his eyes cold and calculating. "The stupid humans hate my work," he said, crumpling the comic book in his hand. "But no matter. I will force them to publish me. I will force the humans to buy my book until I'm at the top of the New York Time's bestseller's list."
Standing, he grabbed his staff and made for the door, but I blocked him. "No, Loki. That's not the way it works. Have you tried querying your book?"
"Yes," he spat. "They hate it. I've gotten rejection letter after rejection letter! I reject them, I tell you!"
I couldn't help laughing a little. "Well, maybe your query needs some work. Maybe you could show us what you wrote, and we could help you."
Loki eyed me with distrust. The sound of boots crunching on broken glass and brick came from behind us. Iron Man was laughing.
IRON MAN: I was busy admiring myself in the mirror (my hair was looking fabulous today) when I overheard Loki sobbing. I didn’t really want to help him but I figured this would be a good opportunity to show him the “Loki Looks Like A Girl” meme I started the other week, so I grabbed my computer and started walking. (Several females were staring at me on my way over. I winked at them.) When I saw Loki sitting in the rubble of a comic shop, clutching his teddy bear and wearing an “I EAT HUMANS FOR BREAKFAST (LITERALLY)” T-shirt, his eyes red from tears, I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. Thor turned to me, gave me a look that read “he’s all yours,” and sprinted out.
Loki and I were silent for a moment, and I took the opportunity to pull out my cell phone camera and capture the valuable Loki-crying footage. YouTube would be all over this kind of thing.
“No one wants to represent my book!” he said through his tears, not meeting my gaze. “Those agent creatures keep sending me rejections even when I guarantee my book will be an instant-bestseller! And they take so long to reply, too—I have to follow up by phone when they don’t respond after five minutes! I am even holding several movie directors hostages right now so I’m guaranteed a movie deal, but they still don’t listen! Here.” He handed me his query letter. “Force people to like it.”
I skimmed over his query and sighed. “Loki, you idiot,” I said, “opening a query with ‘Dear Pathetic Human Agent’ is not a good way to begin.” I dared a quick glance at my reflection in the camera before continuing. “Also, don’t threaten to lock the agents for eternity in your secret lair if they reject you.”
“Why not?! It isn’t like humans have anything better to do with their free time!”
I glared at him. “Have you even read a Young Adult book in your life?”
“I watched the last few minutes of that Twilight series once. The Edward Cullen guy can’t sparkle as well as I can, though. But it does not matter because teenagers are stupid, easily-corruptible creatures that can’t tell the difference between good and bad literature.”
“And you can? Your favorite book is ‘How To Take Over The World In Two Easy Steps.’”
“That’s quality stuff!”
I turned to Captain America, who was busy yelling at Siri in the corner. “I give up. You help him now.”
CAPTAIN AMERICA: They were all staring at me. "You guys aren't serious, are you?" I asked, staring back. Yeah. They seemed serious. I looked at Loki, and I actually felt bad for the guy.
I tossed the iPhone over to Iron Man. "I can't get the thing to work. Runs on some kind of electricity." And Siri is creeping me out, I didn't say.
I kicked aside some rubble and walked over to Loki.
"I guess I'll help. I'm all about perseverance and never giving up on your dreams. That's the one piece of advice that can and will take you anywhere." Stark snickered. I ignored him. I just hoped that Loki wouldn't use my perseverance to take over the world.
Hours later, when we finished cleaning up Loki's mess, I noticed him dragging a hand across his face, his mouth open in a silent wail. There was a square thing in his other hand, a tablet Stark had said, not the kind people swallowed to feel better, and a bunch of text running across the screen.
I might not know much about technology but I could assume what that meant.
"Another rejection?" I asked. He narrowed his eyes at me. I raised an eyebrow and was about to step away when he whispered a strangled yes.
"I hate to say this but Stark's right, you know. You have to entice the agents, not scare them off. They're on your side. And they're humans, just like- nevermind." Loki wasn't human. Though at that moment he seemed very much so.
I turned to the others and grabbed my shield. "We can head over to my place and go over Loki's query if you guys are ready."
I pulled my mask over my face and grabbed Loki's staff before he could. If helping the innocent was my job, then so be it. At that moment, Loki's problem seemed innocent enough. We would see about him taking over the world later. Right now, it was querying. And he needed help. Big time.
But I couldn't help but think: what if this was all a ploy? A way to get what Loki wanted? I glanced at Stark, showing off to the camera of his latest gadget, and Thor, staring longingly at his brother, and finally Loki. He was staring right at me. Did I imagine the glint in his eyes?
Thanks for stopping by the YAvengers - a brand new YA blog hosted by four writers who are saving (or in Loki's case, destroying) the world one word at a time. We hope this blog will appeal to both readers and writers as we follow Loki's journey to publication with writing tips, publishing truths, book recommendations, interviews, giveaways, and Truth or Dare Fridays along the way.
Wondering who's behind the YAvengers? Visit our "Who We Are" page for all the details.
To celebrate the launch of the YAvengers blog, Captain America was able to retrieve a copy DUALED by Elsie Chapman. Enter right after the page break. Good luck. And don't fall for Loki.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
what would YOU like to see on YAvengers?