LOKI: Hey, Grandpa, look at this
CAPTAIN AMERICA: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Hey, Loki, what is it?
LOKI: I thought I'd educate you more in modern technology.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Since when did you want to help me? And what do you know about 'modern tech' anyway?
LOKI: I know everything about 'modern tech.' I am a god. And I get tired of your stupidity.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: There is only one god. And he does not look like you. Just show me whatever it is so I can go.
LOKI: It's called Google Nose.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: You mean Google Knows.
Loki shows Captain America the screen.
LOKI: No, you idiot. Google NOSE.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Wait. That's a typo, right? I mean, Google DOES know everything.
LOKI: Google is not a person. But anyway, it is not a typo. This is modern tech.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Is she... is she smelling her screen?
LOKI: The Internet has merged with reality.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Woah. I was just thinking about that the other day. I mean, tech offers everything, but you can't actually smell the forest or the lemons or the real world.
LOKI: Now you can.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: I'm impressed. So how does it work?
Captain America sits down beside Loki.
LOKI: Go ahead. Click "Try Google Nose." You do know how to click, right?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Yeah, greenie. I do.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Yes. Get rid of that ridiculous green and gold outfit and I'll call you something else.
LOKI: You wear a star on your chest. I've seen similar clothes at Gymboree.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Since when did you start going to infant clothing stores?
LOKI: It's at the mall. Next to Auntie Anne's. Nevermind that. Just click "Try Google Nose."
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Auntie Anne's? I thought I was the Grandpa.
Captain American clicks.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: It says 'Dumpster.' Of all the scents to get me to like them, they choose dumpster?
LOKI: Huh. I got lemons. Modern tech must not like you. Now click "Smell."
CAPTAIN AMERICA: It says "transmitting."
LOKI: That means it's about to work.
Captain American leans into the screen and sniffs.
LOKI: Do you smell it?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: ....no.
LOKI: Maybe you need to try again. Or do you have allergies or something? Really, modern tech is not this hard to work.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: No, I don't have allergies Dr. Idiot. Where's the smell? Did you smell lemons?
LOKI: Actually, I did. Why, can you not?
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Did you actually smell lemons or the bottle of Pledge you spilled on the table last night?
LOKI: Fine. I'll click it again, if you don't believe me.
LOKI: Airport terminal... I blew one up once. And this does smell like it.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: What's that supposed to smell like? Click again.
LOKI: Fine. I'll click again, if that makes you happy.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: [deadpans] It would make me happy, yes.
LOKI: Garlic breath.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Now that I have first-hand experience of, smelling your breathe all the time.
LOKI: Sniff, Grandpa.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Oh look, there are little wafts of the scent being transmitted!
CAPTAIN AMERICA: I don't... I don't smell anything.
LOKI: Maybe you should press your face to the screen.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: HEY. Stop pushing me. My nose!
CAPTAIN AMERICA: *struggles* You-stop-Loki!
LOKI: *lets go of Captain America* April Fool's, Grandpa!
CAPTAIN AMERICA: They still do that? April Fool's?
LOKI: It's the one day of the year allotted for mischief. Like my holiday. And we STILL do it.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Your holiday, huh? *wipes nose* You got me, Loki. Let me give you a hug.
LOKI: Maybe you should just buy me a cake.
Captain America lunges.
LOKI: Don't touch me.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: *grabs shield* Stop running, coward!
Loki laughs manically.
Captain America makes sure no one is watching, then sniffs screen again.
LOKI: (to self) Even better, I got a webcam shot of Grandpa's nose hairs.