The Minds of Writers

You know it's true.

My alter ego got to go to her high school today and speak to freshmen and juniors about writing and publishing. It was quite fascinating, from a non-human point of view, to hear their questions.
Do you ever feel sorry about what you put your characters through?
Well, yes, but if I didn't there would be no story. Maybe I'll give them good epilogues... if they survive that long.

What kind of research did you have to do for your writing?

Mostly crime syndicates, poisons, various weapons, gangs, assassinations. You know, fun stuff. 

I kid you not, this was how the human adolescents appeared for most of the presentation:

And she didn't even tell them that I am her alter ego.

So I thought it would be interesting to make a post of why writers are not like normal people.

1. We managed to find a hobby that involves doing these for the rest of our life:

- outlining
- researching
- reading
- writing
- every. single. day.

We found one of the few hobbies that basically means we will do homework every day for the rest of our lives. And we will like it.

2. Even weirder, we can't not do that homework. Or we will die. Painfully. Slowly.

3. And the weirdest: we have zero issues showing our craziness to other people

Think about some of the things you have said out loud:
- I think half of my best friends are online
- I've been reading the same book for a week. Don't look at my shame.
- I slept a total of 2.4 hours last night. I feel quite refreshed.
- I GOT AN EMAIL. Oh wait... it's just a store coupon.
- Has anyone gotten around to inventing those caffeine patches from Meet the Robinsons yet?
- My characters aren't listening to me right now. They do whatever they want. Ungrateful ***tards. 
- What are you ordering for dinner? Oh, I'm skipping right to the death my chocolate cheesecake.
- Do you prefer Georgia or Times New Roman? Be honest.
- If your house burned down, what is the one object you'd save? Other people: Photo album. Me: Laptop.

Yeah, we're strange people. But we kind of love that about ourselves? 

And the important thing? I terrified at least one hundred human children today.

My question: What are other weird writer things you've been called out on for saying out loud?


  1. Death. Mostly death. Saying, "It's going to be epic when I kill him!" isn't the best thing to say on the street. Mind clears the street, which makes walking easier.
    Plus running upstairs saying, "I wrote 10K today!!" And the family blinks and says, "Okay. Whatever."
    (We need those caffeine patches. Seriously now.)

    1. Walking down the street... "But Cait! Are you sure you want to kill him?" (We're sisters, by the way. That just multiplies the wierdness by six.) Another one, "I should dob you in for child abuse! How could you DO that to him?" We sound like such violent people.

  2. OMG I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! Sorry, just had to say that. And great post! Non writers don't get it. Weirdest thing to others? "I had other plans, but my character did something I didn't expect." Oh and there was the time on Twitter I got into a discussion about the best way to murder someone (a character) and we accidentally dropped the hashtag about writing! LOL That looked bad.

  3. "Oh! I know who I can kill!" - ON A BUS.

    Or, "Well, I guess I could sacrifice Lawrence. After all, it would be fairly easy to push him off a cliff and make it look like an accident."

    Yeah. I'm amazed I haven't been arrested yet, either.

  4. I loooove this post! First off: Yes, Loki is hotter than Thor. Secondly, all of this is so right! It is like doing homework every day, but it's fun. I've always loved researching, then outlining, and revising is so much fun.

    I have a similar problem to Cait's. I really enjoy a good character death. Either if I write it, or if I read it, and when I confess this to my non-writer/non-bookish-obsessed-friends that I enjoy it when a character dies, they look at me oddly. And sometimes say: "Okay ... well, I've got to go over there now. Bye."

  5. Awesome post!

    I'm afraid I'm much like other writers, in which I sometimes exclaim in public: "Yes! Just thought of the perfect way to kill him! GO, ME!" :D

  6. I don't say writerly things astonishingly often, since most of the things I say are just in my head anyway so it's easy not to freak people out, but when I do talk out loud, I often lie -- ie 'I got the train once and it caught fire', 'Yes, I was a bus driver, but then I gave someone all the change by accident and got sacked', or 'Oh, yeah, cliff diving is the most fun you'll ever have'. For some reason, people always ask, 'Really?', and then seem offended when I reply, 'Um, no, of course not.'