YAvengers Email Insight: Thor and Loki


NOTICE:
The following is a top-secret transcript obtained by agents of the S.H.I.E.L.D. network. 

***

Dear Brother,

I am concerned about your recent social media activities. From what the Captain has told me, sending an identical post regarding your book to every person who follows you is not received admirably. I suggest you attempt to personalize said posts, or limit yourself to a small number per day. This will let many see it, but not alienate you to them.

Best of luck,

Thor

***
Brother,

How can I alienate the people I rule? And I have limited myself to a small number per day. One billion. That spreads my messages throughout the course of one week, which is quite patient for me. 

Maybe you should think before taking advice from Grandpa about the Internet. 

Loki, Lord of Earth

***

Brother, 

Though your inference of the Captain's modern-Earth knowledge was rude, I admit you may be correct. I have therefore checked his information with the Man of Iron, about whose technological knowledge you cannot argue. 

He agrees, with some hesitation, that my first advice to you was correct. He called what you are doing, "spam," and says he has officially blocked you from all forms of messaging. You do not want your readers to do the same. I am trying to save you embarrassment, brother. Do not give me cause to use force. 

Sincerely,

THOR

***

I'm not embarrassing myself, brother, nor do I care that Stark blocked me, as he is the least favorite of all my subjects. 

I have hit a road block, however, as apparently a huge portion of the Earth population does not have email or Twitter accounts or even computers, for some reason. I have yet to determine how to inform them of my novel.

***

Stark would be interested to hear that you consider him a subject.

As for your media, I will concede defeat in my attempts to persuade you. You obviously lack any semblance of tact, and therefore your book promotion will suffer as a result, whether you believe it or not. If you change your mind and wish for my help, I will, as always, be willing to assist. Until then, I will watch as you make a complete fool of yourself. 

***

Well, brother, let us see who will have the last laugh when my book becomes a best-seller (I have decided to send the non-Internet-using Earthlings the blurb by carrier pigeon, so you see, I've now reached an even larger portion of the population). My success is inevitable. You see, it is not tact that sells books, it is constant presence of the book, by Twitter feed, email, and carrier pigeon. I am merely giving the mortals a taste of how my constant presence will feel during my upcoming reign.

***

Document end.

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Do Not Copy

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