April Fools! I am not Captain America. I am not named after a continent, I wear no flags, and while I am pretty awesome, I don't usually post twice a month. In fact, I usually don't post at all. Who am I really? I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
I'm here to wrap up March for you all. I hear there were some great posts, and while, ahem, didn't read all of them... Okay, I didn't read any of them. But I can still wrap up the month! Even though this is my first time, I'd like to be very Thoreau with this post. Writers and photographers work closely together, you know, and I consider this a Tolkien of my appreciation for all you writers do. Okay, I think I'll quit it with the puns, since Loki is Shake-ing his -speare at me. Okay, I get it! Let's get this wrap-up over, and I'll let you go on your Hemingway.
Hemingway? I'll let you go on your way? Get it? You're right, that one made no sense. I'll get on with it.
This month was Voice, Mood, and Style Month, which seems pretty simple to me. You speak in a voice, you go through moods, and you don a skintight red and blue outfit to flaunt your individual style. Apparently that's not what it means in terms of writing. Let's get to the posts.
The Inedible Hulk posted first this month-- sorry, the Incredible Hulk. (Is he mad about that? He looks mad.) He talked about being a geezer and writing like a little bean of a person. I'm not sure how accurate all his tips really are, since he'd probably call me a little bean of a person. Still, do what he says. (If you really want a contemporary vocabulary, though, I suggest some Tolstoy. No, don't read it-- throw it at a kid's head and write down whatever they yell at you.)
Woohoo, this is fun! I could get used to the writing life. Plenty of time to yourself, adoring fans, and the ability to pun your way out of any situation. Yep, the hermit life would be good to me.
You know what, never mind. Let's find some other posts.
I can't believe it! Thor stopped combing his hair long enough for a post about character voice. That knocks down about a third of this month's topic, so we're right on track. Yessir, big boy, you can go back to your hair dryer. It looks like things are covered from here.
And lastly (I know, only three posts-- I could have written more than that in a year, maybe), Captain Amy posted about mood books. Supposedly, you can read books that sound like your books so you can copy them more easily. It's so hard to copy when you've forgotten what you're copying, amirite? So read words, kids, and make that plagiarism sing!
But you all know this can't be the end of the month. Only three posts? In order to cover all the complexity of Style, Voice, and Mood, they must have done one post on style, one post on voice, and one post on... Ah. Well done, actually. If I didn't know firsthand why Iron Man is known as Perspirin' Man, I'd be impressed.
I think there was also supposed to be a Twitter chat this month, but Black Widow's shadow puppet skills must have distracted everyone. I think Thor still attempted it, but it didn't go very far. He promised to try again next month. Raise your hand if you'll be there! ...No, I was scratching my head. I won't be there.
Ahem, well... Um... That's it for the wrap-up I guess? Have a nice month...
Who am I kidding? You probably guessed that I'm no writer. I've tried, you know, with journalism and a few short stories and a birthday card once (never again). My fingers stick to the keyboard when I type. Webbing somehow clogs up all my pens, and the pencils are too gummy to hold. I actually kind of envy you all. You get to do cool stuff and write in different worlds, and I'm stuck here with my camera, swinging forlornly around New York City as aliens attack. Sorry, I shouldn't be so self-pitying. BUT WHY ME?
Okay. Sorry about that. I'll let you get back to writing. (I hear April is a NaNoWriMo month-- who's doing that? ...Sorry, scratching my head again. It's itchy, okay?) Tune in next month for Diversity in YA! How about some diversity in superheroes, amirite? I bet you wouldn't want to see another wrap-up from Cappy. More guest superheroes should come on this blog, and not just for obscure prankster-ish holidays.
Well, have a nice day/week/month/year/lifetime/couple of hours. I hope I get to do something like this again. It's fun. I'm glad I was able to take the Brontë of this burden for the YAvengers this time.